Crush The Castle 2 Hacked Game

Crush the Castle 2 –A tower-destroying puzzler game, brought to you by the laws of physics

Suck My Castle

At the risk of being absolutely shunned by the section of the mobile and/or browser based community that mindlessly gobble up whatever game is sailing on the top of the iTunes charts, I need to confess that I am unbelievably sick and tired of Angry Birds. The aforementioned people are so completely aloof from the body of quality games on the market that they believe Angry Birds is the be all and end all, partially because they don’t know any differently, and mainly because they are busy sending you unwanted requests for Candy Crush that will land them a quick trip to the un-friend zone. Crush the Castle 2 from Armor Games is no such game, since it is underground enough to be unspoiled by the pressure of mass opinion and catering to massive idiots, but not so underground that it has a following of lensless spectacle-wearing hipsters that love it just because it hasn’t yet been discovered. To Angry Birds I say suck my castle, which I have just freshly destroyed using a remote-controlled bomb fired from a trebuchet.

La Bombe

Alright, I only know mock French, and possible a little bit of comedy menu-Italian, but I’ll avoid digressing and get stuck into the meat of Crush the Castle 2, which like the original is concerned with the obliteration of a series of precariously-balanced castle structures containing members of royalty. Fresh from conquering swathes of castles in the game’s predecessor, our King has developed a taste for physics-based destruction of irresponsibly-placed castles, and the trebuchet is the weapon of choice, since we are after all playing in medieval times, and I use this definition in the loosest sense of the term (most flash games employ the use of the pop-medieval period to encompass any time period before 1700, often referred to with such stock phrases as ‘Ye Olde’ and ‘Thou’).

It’s all simple in the controls department, with a simple click of the mouse or the spacebar to set the trebuchet in motion, and another click/tap to release the projectiles in the direction of the castle in the distance. You will be permitted to use increasingly devastating and innovative (relatively speaking) projectiles being unlocked as you make progress.

Spinning Yarn, Winning Weapons

One of the more noticeable improvements from the original is the weaving of a storyline throughout the gameplay, tying the otherwise unrelated and purposeless destroying of castles in a wanton and unbridled manner. Various characters worm their way into the action and shower you with advice, tales of woe, and also different kinds of ammunition for your trebuchet. This ammunition is effectively the game’s system of upgrades attained through progressing in the game, and giving you incentive to continue playing to discover the next weapon innovation.

You receive items such as logs, stone balls, iron balls, and eventually explosives to use in your castle-smashing efforts. Each form of ammunition has a particular weight and behaviour when leaving the trebuchet, requiring that you adjust your timings accordingly. Parachute bombs, for example, require an initially accurate trajectory as well as an extremely precise opening of the parachute. The game sets a fairly good rate of increasing difficulty, as just when you become comfortable with one type of ammunition, you are required to use another.

Angry Birds: Get Out

Don’t make the mistake of underestimating the game based on its relatively simplistic appearance; it isn’t a flashy offering like Angry Birds, but the physics are solid, and the trebuchet can prove infinitely more challenging to handle. I recommend freeing up a fair bit of time before you play this game since you will likely feel compelled to continue playing until you have unlocked all of the special ammunition and completed each stage with a gold medal. You can even create your own level with the level editor, messing about with all the different materials in the game and creating your very own castles. Crush the Castle 2 is like the thinking man’s Angry Birds, being twice as entertaining, thrice as engrossing, and more importantly, and is generally everything that Angry Birds isn’t.

85/100